The Men that think they're God's gift to women!

I'm reading the most wonderful book at the moment by Michael Ondaatje - Running in the Family (the guy that wrote The English Patient). He is a Burgher which is what they call families of Dutch origin that live in Sri Lanka. The book is about his return to Sri Lanka and the characters in his family. There is a section in the book which seems to epitomise what I'm going through right now. It describes his Grandmother Lalla and one of her more memorable bus journeys:

"When the bus arrived she herded herself in with the rest and, after ten minutes of standing in the aisle, found a seat where three could sit side by side. Eventually the man next to her put his arm behind her shoulder to give them all more room.

Gradually she began to notice the shocked faces of the passengers facing her across the aisle. At first they looked disapprovingly and soon began whispering to each other. Lalla looked at the man next to her who had a smug smile on his face. He seemed to be enjoying himself. Then she looked down and saw that his hand had come over her left shoulder and was squeezing her breast. She smiled to herself.

She had not felt a thing. Her left breast had been removed five years earlier and he was ardently fondling the sponge beneath her gown."

Unfortunately Sri Lankan men, on the whole, think that they're God's gift to women and therefore are quite happy to blatantly be lecherous! Our first experience was at our guest house in Colombo on the second morning there. Padmini, the owner, occasionally allows a guy to do casual labour around her house. The morning, he didn't seem to be working but was quite happy to sit in a gap behind the house and the garden wall watching us eat breakfast. I, not realising the "done thing" in Sri Lanka, tried to stare him out when he continued to gawp at us. That was clearly the wrong thing to do as he then proceeded to stick his tongue out and wiggle it around in the most odd way. Becky, being more with it, shooed him away. We weren't quite sure what was implied by "tongue man" as he has become known, but, when we checked with our language teachers later that day, they confirmed our worst suspicions. I'd expected such attention would only be directed at white women (or suddu noona as we're known as in Singalese!) but apparently Sri Lankan women get it just as badly. Apparently I'd done exactly the wrong thing by staring at him!

"Tongue Man" came back only one more time during our breakfasts at Padmini's. When he tried it on again, we spoke to Padmini who, I guess, will have words with him. I hope we've not lost him his work there, however casual it was, but equally, I'd hate for Padmini to get a bad reputation on travel blogs etc. Why he'd even think it was attractive and get him some "action" is beyond me!

Slightly more concerning is that I think my boss may think he can have a bit more than just a professional relationship with me. He has been so kind to me sorting out my accommodation etc. I've started to realise, though, that there are an awful lot of references to "just the two of us for dinner" and "what do you like to drink? I could bring some round to your flat." This week we've been planning a trip with the "Harmony Development Council" aimed at developing closer ties between business people in the North and East - the Tamil LTTE affected areas - and so a trip has been organised for May where 30 people from the Southern Chambers will visit the East on a 4 day trip. I've been invited and it wasn't until he stared waxing lyrical about going to the "warm (spelt worm on the itinerary!) water pools and seeing me in my bikini" did I really start to worry. I'm going to have to nip this in the bud very quickly but in a way that doesn't cause too much offence. He's probably in his early 60s and is happily married with two kids so why he thinks he's even in with a chance, I've no idea.

The attached picture was taken this week when the Canadian High Commissioner and his wife had a lunch meeting with the Chamber's great and good (and me!). Left to right - Darshika (the Administration Manager); me; Ingrid, the High Commissioner's wife; Mr Lakshman, the Chairman (and my boss!); Bruce, the High Commissioner; Suri, the Director General of the Chamber; and Dhammika, the Secretary of the Board. Next week there is the Chamber's Board meeting which starts at 7pm on Saturday night (!). It sounds like it turns into a bit of a drinking shop so, as the only woman there, I'll make my excuses once the business part of the night is over, and head home!

It may sound awful, but the attention I get is continuous but not threatening in the least. I think it will just be on days when I'm low anyway that it will get to me. I'm looking forward to being able to deliver a really good retort fluently in Sinhala should anything happen like it did to poor Lalla on the bus! These Sri Lankan blokes ain't seen nothing yet!